I really have no desire to unpack the movie Inception on this blog. That would be a never ending struggling I think (note: loved that move, loved it). But there's a single line that really hit me the first time I saw it, and the second. One of the characters is referring to a memory of another character and states that the memory can never replace the actual person with all that individuals "perfection and imperfection." (I'm trying to keep this as vague as possible so as to avoid ruining said movie for anyone who reads this. Moral of the story: I tried really hard to protect you all because I want you to experience this movie that bad. Go see it!)
Anyway, I love that idea. I really like the idea of appreciating and valuing both the perfection and imperfection in a person. To have people know your weaknesses and strengths and loving you in the middle of them all. My family is like this with me and the friends that have stuck around over the years (I'm beginning to realize there are more of those than I thought). I try to hide my imperfection all the time. Depending on who I'm with, I try to tailor the imperfection I reveal to suit the audience. If you're slightly nerdy, I'll reveal that I've got a thing for math or science or good historical fiction. If you're kind of a geek, I'll let slip that I'm into Star Trek, or Tolkien, or Batman: The Animated Series. I do all this selectively because I'm afraid of letting go of all the parts of me for fear that one of those parts will somehow put off the person who discovers it and then that person will abandon me. I think I'm done with this. So in an exercise of good faith, here are some things (some of which are slightly embarrassing) that I like about me that I wouldn't normally share with people, mostly out of fear of sounding like a total loser.
1) I can pretty much sing the songs from every Disney musical from memory (most people know this already)
2) I still really enjoy watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and in high school I played the RPG card game.
3) I was on the math team in high school and I lettered in it (academic team too)
4) I like plenty of "embarrassing" music: Kelly Clarkson, Justin Timberlake, the occasional Justin Bieber song (whoever's writing his stuff is doing a good job), Katy Perry (she pushes the envelope I know, but she's got some insane hooks)
5) I've read all the Harry Potter books
6) I really like a good sweater vest
7) I sing in the car when I drive
There's more stuff too. Even as I wrote that list I was sitting there mulling it over, thinking "yeah, share that it actually makes you seem kind of likable, no... not that, now you sound like a goob" or "I should pepper in something that makes me sound more indie or hipster or arty." It's still a struggle, but I want to keep striving, working to just be me in all circumstances and if people dig that, sweet. If they don't, whatever. Pretty random I know, but I'm tired of trying to figure out who the best "me" is to present in a given situation.