Saturday, May 16, 2009

Genuine

Saw one of my students give his testimony in what was one of the most genuine moments I've seen in quite some time. No apologies, no attempts to make things more interesting or exciting, just a very real explanation of where he was at with God. It made me realize that so often in the church we try to engage with where we believe people "should" be and speak from a position that reflects our "best" moments. We rarely bring the junk, the struggles, the frustrations to the table. I know this is not a new revelation, but one that I've been thinking about for the last couple of days. The frustrating aspect of this is that it never creates a deeper understanding of the inroads to a deeper walk with Christ.

To better explain where I'm going with this, because I'm rambling, I know, I'm going to use an analogy from music. Lets say you only ever had two examples of what it meant to be a guitar player, yourself and maybe, um, John Lennon. Now lets say that no one ever explained to you that Lennon took a while to get there, through practice, hard work, and dedication. You might become convinced that its pointless to even try playing guitar as you don't see a possible means of getting to that "Lennon Level." It would be obvious that Lennon is where you should be. What might not be obvious is that you could get there.

Now this is a poor example, for any number of reasons. Not least of which because it fails to take into consideration the fact that some people will never be able to play guitar as well as John Lennon. But, I do think that this illustrating does reveal an interesting trend in the church.

When we fail to bring our garbage to the table it creates the illusion that there are two types of Christians. Those who have it easy, who have it all together, who never mess up, and those who constantly struggle. From that place, those who are very aware of the fact that they struggle often do two things: either give up on the trying or just "fake it to make it" and put forward a front that looks good to their community. That's why it's so important that as a community we are real with where we are actually at. That we are honest when we struggle with different sin areas. That we create space for people to be real about where they are actually at.

I'm not saying we should relish in sin, that we should delight in the fact that we mess up, but I do think sharing a realistic, "warts and all" picture of the walk helps to illuminate the fact that all temptation is common, that our God is a God of redemption who works with even the greatest of sinners. I think it also constantly reminds us that we are all desperately in need of forgiveness because we all sin constantly. I think, in some ways, I'm furthest from God when I think that I'm doing a really good job of following him and I'm closest to God when I realize that I'm horrible at following Him and constantly need Him to transform me from the inside.

That's why I want to be more genuine...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Vocation

There are no paragraph breaks in this post. Deal with it.

Antony asked me this weekend if I thought I'd found my vocation. "I'd say so." To which he responded, "but would you say that unprompted" Hesitated a little bit at that one. It's interesting but due to some combination of my very nomadic upbringing, my ENFP personality, and lingering insecurity I still have some serious issues with commitment. Referring to my job as my vocation still causes a bit of a shudder to run up my spine. The post-modernist in me just doesn't want to identify myself with one thing so specifically. That being said, if I was honest, I'd have to say that I have indeed found what I would consider to be my vocation. My hesitation to identify it as such has pretty much only kept me from giving 100% to what I was doing. Which is a little bit on the lame sauce side of things. My dad always used to say that "Excellence honors God" which I used to view as a fairly trite paring down of the gospel as I knew it. I'm coming to realize, though, that just because that's not the entirety of God's intent for our lives doesn't make it not true. I'm coming to value truth nuggets like that one. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, pursuing excellence in the things that God has placed in my path reveals a willingness on my part to trust in the fact that He doesn't have me in some sort of spiritual holding pattern. If He, in his sovereignty, has placed me where I'm at for a reason, maybe I should try to pursue His work for me in that place eagerly. Coming out of the Navy that's consistently been one of my largest struggles. When I was there I always thought of it as a go between, a gap filler in my life and never really sold out to the idea that I needed to look for where He was working around me in that area as much as I could. That never really happened until the very end. Now, in a place I love with a vocation I've grown to be really stoked about, it's time to get over it and dive in. Not so much with more time but with greater intentionality, prayer, and a willingness to surrender to the things that God has for me.

That's pretty stinking exciting.