1) "Why Do I Keep Counting?" The Killers
2) "A Short Reprise for Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, But For Very Good Reasons" Sufjan Stevens
3) "August in Bethany" Juliana Theory
Understand this is a Dream (The album that August In Bethany came off of) may be the first album that I sang at the top of my lungs to in the car. This was very much at the beginning of my emo phase (some may argue that phase hasn't ended) and it was a time where I was kind of enamored with heartbreak. I would almost aim for it because the pain of being separated from someone was more concrete, more specific and much easier than trying to navigate the doubts and excitement and fears and hope of actually sticking with a relationship. If the relationship ended, I could just hop in my car (which at the time was a black Sentra with Hawaiian seat covers), turn up the knob on my crappy stereo and wail along to the ridiculously over the top "Don't Go!" repeated over and over. It was this anthemic shout of despair. This proclamation that I wished that the relationship had worked. But, if I was honest at the time I would have sung "Get Gone!" because I wanted it to be over so I could wallow in the clarity of a relationship that was over.
It's taken me some time, but I think the me from that era is kind of an idiot. I mean, I understand it, I know where I was coming from, I know all the issues that surround that. But, if I had anything to say to me in that era, it would probably be "Dude, get over it" The uncertainty really is at the core of everything valuable in my life. Every great risk, new venture, job decision, and step of faith of have been anchored in a very real sense of uncertainty. Now, I could, I suppose, go through life subconsciously sabotaging every opportunity I had to be happy that required a level of risk, but that would leave me alone, most likely living in my parents den, and working at Starbucks again. I'm not sure why I'd want to do that. (Now that I say that, I'll end up going back to school some day and will live in my parents den and work at Starbucks, way to jinx yourself Whytey).
I want the adventure now. I want that first step before the bunjee jump, that breathless anticipation that accompanies taking any big step in life. I'd prefer going for it and when I face plant to dust myself and aim for the next challenge rather than wallow in the failure of the last...
Cause that life is gonna be huge
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Uganda 09
Just wanted to drop everyone a quick line to update on what's going on here in Uganda. We arrived three days ago in Entebbe and have spent the first couple of days at the Murchison Falls National Park. We're on safari, checking out the amazing wildlife (giraffes are officially the coolest animals ever) and meeting and training as a team.
In a couple of days we'll start our medical mission to the villages in the vicinity of Mukono. While the doctors provide care and treatment, our team will be providing hand washing training to the villagers. We've been told that this training program can reduce illnesses in a village by over 40%, so please pray that we'll be clear in our message and training. Also pray for opportunities to serve and spread the Gospel.
Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks to those of you who have been praying, supporting, and following along. You know who you are.
~C
In a couple of days we'll start our medical mission to the villages in the vicinity of Mukono. While the doctors provide care and treatment, our team will be providing hand washing training to the villagers. We've been told that this training program can reduce illnesses in a village by over 40%, so please pray that we'll be clear in our message and training. Also pray for opportunities to serve and spread the Gospel.
Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks to those of you who have been praying, supporting, and following along. You know who you are.
~C
Thursday, June 18, 2009
3S1P: Sentimentality
1) "The Closest Thing" The Juliana Theory
2) "Lonesome Tears" Beck
3) "For Me This is Heaven" Jimmy Eat World
I have a tendency to appreciate sentiment and mistrust it all at the same time. I think there are a number of reasons for this. I moved pretty consistently when I was a kid, so I had a tendency to assume that any relationship I had outside of my family was going to be pretty fleeting. As a result, I began to treat relationships as fairly disposable. I would move and then move on. I still do this. I can't tell you how many people in my life I've really connected with only to completely lose contact with them after I moved. I think this was exacerbated by the fact that the few times I tried to keep track with a group of friends from the last place I lived never really panned out. This was before the age of Facebook and email and without face to face contact it wasn't the same. Those friendships just died. So I began to see them for what they were, temporary. I still struggle with that.
The other aspect of this mistrust for sentiment is the fact that I still struggle with a fear that, after a while, people will figure out who I really am and then not want to spend time with that person. This arises out of the fact that I have been pretty good in the past at fitting in with any group of people, with modifying my behavior and mannerisms to match the behavior of the group (kind of like the way that Carson Daly used to get all "YO YO YO" whenever a rapper came on TRL). So there's this mistrust in sentimental moments because I secretly assume that sooner or later the person I'm sharing that moment with will get to know me, really get to know me, and just be over it. I'm getting better at not giving into that.
That all being said, there's still the side of me that stinking loves the sentimental. I love everything in E.T. after he gets revived. I could watch the scene in Chariot's of Fire where he comes from behind to win the race after falling a million times. Heck, I even dig Moulin Rouge! There are just certain things that get me. They make me stop and instantly transport me to that "Life is pretty rad" sort of moment. Jimmy Eat World used to do that for me on the regular. This was especially true of Clarity, which I think was their best album. It was an album that made no bones about plucking the heartstrings as frequently as possible and "For Me This is Heaven" is no exception. The outro keeps repeating "Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you still hear the last goodnight?" It's stupid. It's kitschy. It's sappy. It's also pretty stinkin' brilliant. It's brilliant because, if you let it, it reminds you how rad it is to be lost in those euphoric feelings that a new relationship brings. That feeling you don't want to lose. There's so much hope. There's so much hope that these early moments are glimpses of thousands to come. That phase changes you. It makes you feel like you'd blow off everybody else for that person. That feeling may not last. At that moment, the tension rears its ugly head. Do I hold to hope and risk the relationship failing in an effort to see it work? Or do I give into the mistrust and jump ship? Do I assume that nothing like that lasts? I have to choose one and I want to choose wisely. But, to be honests I still don't know how to do that. And at the end of the song, I feel like J.E.W. are acknowledging that they don't really know either. The song just kind of drops, fades away. There are no promises of tomorrow or guarantees that things will work out at the end. We are left to wonder if this will make it. The voices dropping out even adds an element of despair. It's this sense that the odds may not be good in this situation, that it won't work out. But despite all that, Jimmy still gets us to hope it will.
2) "Lonesome Tears" Beck
3) "For Me This is Heaven" Jimmy Eat World
I have a tendency to appreciate sentiment and mistrust it all at the same time. I think there are a number of reasons for this. I moved pretty consistently when I was a kid, so I had a tendency to assume that any relationship I had outside of my family was going to be pretty fleeting. As a result, I began to treat relationships as fairly disposable. I would move and then move on. I still do this. I can't tell you how many people in my life I've really connected with only to completely lose contact with them after I moved. I think this was exacerbated by the fact that the few times I tried to keep track with a group of friends from the last place I lived never really panned out. This was before the age of Facebook and email and without face to face contact it wasn't the same. Those friendships just died. So I began to see them for what they were, temporary. I still struggle with that.
The other aspect of this mistrust for sentiment is the fact that I still struggle with a fear that, after a while, people will figure out who I really am and then not want to spend time with that person. This arises out of the fact that I have been pretty good in the past at fitting in with any group of people, with modifying my behavior and mannerisms to match the behavior of the group (kind of like the way that Carson Daly used to get all "YO YO YO" whenever a rapper came on TRL). So there's this mistrust in sentimental moments because I secretly assume that sooner or later the person I'm sharing that moment with will get to know me, really get to know me, and just be over it. I'm getting better at not giving into that.
That all being said, there's still the side of me that stinking loves the sentimental. I love everything in E.T. after he gets revived. I could watch the scene in Chariot's of Fire where he comes from behind to win the race after falling a million times. Heck, I even dig Moulin Rouge! There are just certain things that get me. They make me stop and instantly transport me to that "Life is pretty rad" sort of moment. Jimmy Eat World used to do that for me on the regular. This was especially true of Clarity, which I think was their best album. It was an album that made no bones about plucking the heartstrings as frequently as possible and "For Me This is Heaven" is no exception. The outro keeps repeating "Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you still hear the last goodnight?" It's stupid. It's kitschy. It's sappy. It's also pretty stinkin' brilliant. It's brilliant because, if you let it, it reminds you how rad it is to be lost in those euphoric feelings that a new relationship brings. That feeling you don't want to lose. There's so much hope. There's so much hope that these early moments are glimpses of thousands to come. That phase changes you. It makes you feel like you'd blow off everybody else for that person. That feeling may not last. At that moment, the tension rears its ugly head. Do I hold to hope and risk the relationship failing in an effort to see it work? Or do I give into the mistrust and jump ship? Do I assume that nothing like that lasts? I have to choose one and I want to choose wisely. But, to be honests I still don't know how to do that. And at the end of the song, I feel like J.E.W. are acknowledging that they don't really know either. The song just kind of drops, fades away. There are no promises of tomorrow or guarantees that things will work out at the end. We are left to wonder if this will make it. The voices dropping out even adds an element of despair. It's this sense that the odds may not be good in this situation, that it won't work out. But despite all that, Jimmy still gets us to hope it will.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
3S1P: Building Blocks
1) "New Day" The Kin
2) "The Moon is Down" Further Seems Forever
3) "To the Sea" Razorlight
Being forgettable is something that few of us really want. We may not want to be remembered by everyone or be remembered for something embarrassing, but we want to be remembered by at least those closest to us. The fear of not having any tangible impact is an understandable one (thanks Jimmy Stewart for giving us the first primer on that one in "It's a Wonderful Life"). But interestingly enough, there is are piles of information, entertainment, and even relationships that we forget. They simply pass from our memory. Think about it, really think about it. How many of your teachers do you remember? Last names of your elementary classmates? All of the songs that you have listened to over the years? You just lose them. Sometimes a place or memory will jog them back into existence but often there are things that we just forget about. Those instances in our lives that pass into the great fog of all the events we have experienced. That's part of the reason I love the shuffle function on the iPod. You're listening to a bunch of stuff that's familiar when wham, out of nowhere, comes a song that you had completely lost.
Razorlight is one of those groups for me. I bought their album in the last year, maybe the second to last year that I was in the Navy. I was in an experimental phase with music where I would pretty much purchase anything that I had even heard was good. Maybe compulsive is a better word. But, nevertheless, I went after everything musically. And, in the beginning, Razorlight stuck. It was catchy, it was fun, it was British. And, for a good couple of months I really enjoyed it. It was very escapist for me. I would walk from my car to the gate to the ship early in the morning, headphones in, and for a good 30 seconds to 2 minutes I would feel like I was in a different place, that I wasn't in the Navy. That was such an important feeling for me. It gave me energy, gave me a creative outlet in a job that I wasn't that excited about. And now, three or four years later, I don't listen to Razorlight at all any more. I had forgotten what "To the Sea" sounded like. And listening to it now, I don't even like it that much. But I still appreciate what it provided for me all those years ago.
And, perhaps, more so than with music, with people we should do that as well. Remember those relationships that have defined us, shaped us. We should go through old pictures and letters to find those faces again, be thankful for them, thank God for them. Because, whether or not we actively remember those moments, those events, those relationships, or those songs, they are still such an important part of who we are.
2) "The Moon is Down" Further Seems Forever
3) "To the Sea" Razorlight
Being forgettable is something that few of us really want. We may not want to be remembered by everyone or be remembered for something embarrassing, but we want to be remembered by at least those closest to us. The fear of not having any tangible impact is an understandable one (thanks Jimmy Stewart for giving us the first primer on that one in "It's a Wonderful Life"). But interestingly enough, there is are piles of information, entertainment, and even relationships that we forget. They simply pass from our memory. Think about it, really think about it. How many of your teachers do you remember? Last names of your elementary classmates? All of the songs that you have listened to over the years? You just lose them. Sometimes a place or memory will jog them back into existence but often there are things that we just forget about. Those instances in our lives that pass into the great fog of all the events we have experienced. That's part of the reason I love the shuffle function on the iPod. You're listening to a bunch of stuff that's familiar when wham, out of nowhere, comes a song that you had completely lost.
Razorlight is one of those groups for me. I bought their album in the last year, maybe the second to last year that I was in the Navy. I was in an experimental phase with music where I would pretty much purchase anything that I had even heard was good. Maybe compulsive is a better word. But, nevertheless, I went after everything musically. And, in the beginning, Razorlight stuck. It was catchy, it was fun, it was British. And, for a good couple of months I really enjoyed it. It was very escapist for me. I would walk from my car to the gate to the ship early in the morning, headphones in, and for a good 30 seconds to 2 minutes I would feel like I was in a different place, that I wasn't in the Navy. That was such an important feeling for me. It gave me energy, gave me a creative outlet in a job that I wasn't that excited about. And now, three or four years later, I don't listen to Razorlight at all any more. I had forgotten what "To the Sea" sounded like. And listening to it now, I don't even like it that much. But I still appreciate what it provided for me all those years ago.
And, perhaps, more so than with music, with people we should do that as well. Remember those relationships that have defined us, shaped us. We should go through old pictures and letters to find those faces again, be thankful for them, thank God for them. Because, whether or not we actively remember those moments, those events, those relationships, or those songs, they are still such an important part of who we are.
Monday, June 15, 2009
3S1P: Let Yourself Go
1) "11 AM" Incubus
2) "Walk With Me" Caedmon's Call
3) "Mercury" Bloc Party
I think most people want to dance. Whether they like to admit it or not, they want to dance. In every country I've visited, dance is an underlying form of expression. Whether it's sorrow, celebration, or just social, they dance. And I think that if you get to the core of most people, they want to let themselves go a little bit and just go for it. They want to make fools of themselves, let the moment take them. Most of the time, however they let that desire get covered over in other people's opinions, a desire to look cool, a fear that they have no rhythm, etc. etc. But let's be honest, we all want to drop it like it's hot. That being said, we usually don't.
I remember going to a club in Canada when I was in the Navy and being out on the dance floor with a bunch of people from my ship. I tried to keep it in the pocket. Dance along the lines of what Will Smith shows Kevin James in Hitch. I wanted to have fun while not embarrassing myself. At the same time, though, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, just went for it. He didn't have the best rhythm, he didn't have the best moves, but he went for it. Later another buddy remarked "what [insert name here] lacks in rhythm he more than makes up for in enthusiasm"
This, in a nutshell, is why I love Bloc Party. They make rock to dance to. Sometimes they make dance music to dance to. Sometimes it's badly done, sometimes it has ridiculous lyrics, but what they lack in making a song that you really latch onto, they always make up for in enthusiasm. "Mercury" is kind of a rehash of their other song "The Prayer" and it doesn't have the best beat. But! It has a horn section! It has ridiculously over the top synth effects. It's not afraid to be as over the top as it wants to be. It may not be the catchiest song, but it more than makes up for it in enthusiasm. I'd be lying if I said that didn't win me over every time.
2) "Walk With Me" Caedmon's Call
3) "Mercury" Bloc Party
I think most people want to dance. Whether they like to admit it or not, they want to dance. In every country I've visited, dance is an underlying form of expression. Whether it's sorrow, celebration, or just social, they dance. And I think that if you get to the core of most people, they want to let themselves go a little bit and just go for it. They want to make fools of themselves, let the moment take them. Most of the time, however they let that desire get covered over in other people's opinions, a desire to look cool, a fear that they have no rhythm, etc. etc. But let's be honest, we all want to drop it like it's hot. That being said, we usually don't.
I remember going to a club in Canada when I was in the Navy and being out on the dance floor with a bunch of people from my ship. I tried to keep it in the pocket. Dance along the lines of what Will Smith shows Kevin James in Hitch. I wanted to have fun while not embarrassing myself. At the same time, though, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, just went for it. He didn't have the best rhythm, he didn't have the best moves, but he went for it. Later another buddy remarked "what [insert name here] lacks in rhythm he more than makes up for in enthusiasm"
This, in a nutshell, is why I love Bloc Party. They make rock to dance to. Sometimes they make dance music to dance to. Sometimes it's badly done, sometimes it has ridiculous lyrics, but what they lack in making a song that you really latch onto, they always make up for in enthusiasm. "Mercury" is kind of a rehash of their other song "The Prayer" and it doesn't have the best beat. But! It has a horn section! It has ridiculously over the top synth effects. It's not afraid to be as over the top as it wants to be. It may not be the catchiest song, but it more than makes up for it in enthusiasm. I'd be lying if I said that didn't win me over every time.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
3S1P: Take It Or Leave It
1) "Spitting Games" Snow Patrol
2) "Living in Your Letters" Dashboard Confessional
3) "Bad News" Kanye West
There are people who hate auto tune. They say that T-Pain is ridiculously and that it's gimmicky and overused and ridiculous. This is amusing to me. It is amusing for two distinct reasons. First, auto-tune is just a production technique that's used all the time by artists in every genre. People are just using it in a way that you notice now, so it's not so much auto-tune's fault. Second, I can relate to that feeling. I went through a period where I was extremely...well...particular with my musical choices. I thought that I pretty much had the corner on what was good and that I was pretty accurate in saying that everything else was, well, bad. Most of what I listened to fell into the indie or experimental category because, at the time, I thought that that was the only place where music of true quality existed. Then I realized that music, like all other forms of entertainment is completely subjective and that there's nothing wrong with that. To try to compare The Beatles' White Album with Raffi's "Baby Beluga" is a little ridiculous if only because one is aimed at exploring different genres, redifining rock and the other is aimed at giving little kids something to dance to. I, personally, don't feel like that makes it crap. If you are trying to make art that you can sell, and most music falls into this category, then people buy it or they don't. People listen to it or they don't. And yet we have this need to categorize, to rank, to grade. But let's be honest, at the core of any review of music what we're really saying is "I like it" or "I don't." There's an episode of "The Office" where Andy says that he's not intuitive enough to be a film critic but could be a food critic and could say things like "Those muffins are bad." It's played for laughs, but let's be honest, good or bad is all we're really after. I really don't care if the food at a restaurant I go to is an A on a reviewers grading scale. What I do care is whether or not I'll enjoy it.
This brings me to my take on auto-tune. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. I don't like T-Pain's "I Can't Believe It" but I think that "Blame It" by Jamie Foxx and T-Pain is really catchy and I really like almost all of the songs on Kanye's "808s and Heartbreak." West's mom died shortly before the writing and recording of the album and he uses auto-tune on the album to turn his songs into emo explorations of the loss he experiences. I think it's really creative and it adds a second layer to what he's writing. That being said, I can totally understand why someone else might think it's overwrought crap. In the end though, it's not so much the auto-tune that we're responding to. We're responding to how the auto-tune is used and how we respond to the way that it's used. Depending on the song, we may respond to that use completely differently. And that's okay. To be honest, I'm okay with you not liking any of the same music I like, that's totally okay. You may hate Justin Timberlake, but I personally think he needs to come out with another album. You may not like Lupe Fiasco, but I think he's a genius. Not so much because I think their albums are better than anyone else's but because I like their albums.
In the end, that's all I really care about.
2) "Living in Your Letters" Dashboard Confessional
3) "Bad News" Kanye West
There are people who hate auto tune. They say that T-Pain is ridiculously and that it's gimmicky and overused and ridiculous. This is amusing to me. It is amusing for two distinct reasons. First, auto-tune is just a production technique that's used all the time by artists in every genre. People are just using it in a way that you notice now, so it's not so much auto-tune's fault. Second, I can relate to that feeling. I went through a period where I was extremely...well...particular with my musical choices. I thought that I pretty much had the corner on what was good and that I was pretty accurate in saying that everything else was, well, bad. Most of what I listened to fell into the indie or experimental category because, at the time, I thought that that was the only place where music of true quality existed. Then I realized that music, like all other forms of entertainment is completely subjective and that there's nothing wrong with that. To try to compare The Beatles' White Album with Raffi's "Baby Beluga" is a little ridiculous if only because one is aimed at exploring different genres, redifining rock and the other is aimed at giving little kids something to dance to. I, personally, don't feel like that makes it crap. If you are trying to make art that you can sell, and most music falls into this category, then people buy it or they don't. People listen to it or they don't. And yet we have this need to categorize, to rank, to grade. But let's be honest, at the core of any review of music what we're really saying is "I like it" or "I don't." There's an episode of "The Office" where Andy says that he's not intuitive enough to be a film critic but could be a food critic and could say things like "Those muffins are bad." It's played for laughs, but let's be honest, good or bad is all we're really after. I really don't care if the food at a restaurant I go to is an A on a reviewers grading scale. What I do care is whether or not I'll enjoy it.
This brings me to my take on auto-tune. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. I don't like T-Pain's "I Can't Believe It" but I think that "Blame It" by Jamie Foxx and T-Pain is really catchy and I really like almost all of the songs on Kanye's "808s and Heartbreak." West's mom died shortly before the writing and recording of the album and he uses auto-tune on the album to turn his songs into emo explorations of the loss he experiences. I think it's really creative and it adds a second layer to what he's writing. That being said, I can totally understand why someone else might think it's overwrought crap. In the end though, it's not so much the auto-tune that we're responding to. We're responding to how the auto-tune is used and how we respond to the way that it's used. Depending on the song, we may respond to that use completely differently. And that's okay. To be honest, I'm okay with you not liking any of the same music I like, that's totally okay. You may hate Justin Timberlake, but I personally think he needs to come out with another album. You may not like Lupe Fiasco, but I think he's a genius. Not so much because I think their albums are better than anyone else's but because I like their albums.
In the end, that's all I really care about.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
3S1P: Allow me to introduce myself!
1) "Riffs and Variations..." Sufjan Stevens
2) "Distractions" Zero Seven
3) "A Fast Train" John Powell
I'd like a theme song. To be honest, I'd love one. Imagine for a moment. Let's take a normal every day situation. A woman at the mall drops her wallet and continues out of the store. I see it and make up the three or four steps to hand it to her before she leaves. Now, normally, she accepts it, says thank you and we both go about our business. Now imagine that same moment with a stirring score complete with violins and a horn section. How much more epic is that?!?!?! "A Fast Train" is one of the tracks off of the Bolt soundtrack. I downloaded it because I was making a video for the cross country team and wanted a song that had that sort of epic feel to it. But why should these feelings of resonance, of stirring importance, be limited to movies? Why shouldn't I bring a sort of grandeur to parallel parking? to completing my taxes? to successfully using google maps to avoid rush hour traffic? These are the epic moments that define my life. They may not be huge, but my oh my they are exciting, and boy oh boy could they use some kicking up a notch. So why can't I have a theme song?
One simple reason friends... you don't get to request a theme song! Just like nicknames, you don't get to pick your own theme songs. As Seinfeld showed us, you can't pick your own nickname or everyone would want to be called T-Bone! So tragically friends, unless a composer of note (I don't want a janky theme song) decides randomly to score my life I'm doomed to roam the earth without a soundtrack to make my life more majestic. But that doesn't stop me from picking some of my favorites and humming them to myself for extra inspiration.
2) "Distractions" Zero Seven
3) "A Fast Train" John Powell
I'd like a theme song. To be honest, I'd love one. Imagine for a moment. Let's take a normal every day situation. A woman at the mall drops her wallet and continues out of the store. I see it and make up the three or four steps to hand it to her before she leaves. Now, normally, she accepts it, says thank you and we both go about our business. Now imagine that same moment with a stirring score complete with violins and a horn section. How much more epic is that?!?!?! "A Fast Train" is one of the tracks off of the Bolt soundtrack. I downloaded it because I was making a video for the cross country team and wanted a song that had that sort of epic feel to it. But why should these feelings of resonance, of stirring importance, be limited to movies? Why shouldn't I bring a sort of grandeur to parallel parking? to completing my taxes? to successfully using google maps to avoid rush hour traffic? These are the epic moments that define my life. They may not be huge, but my oh my they are exciting, and boy oh boy could they use some kicking up a notch. So why can't I have a theme song?
One simple reason friends... you don't get to request a theme song! Just like nicknames, you don't get to pick your own theme songs. As Seinfeld showed us, you can't pick your own nickname or everyone would want to be called T-Bone! So tragically friends, unless a composer of note (I don't want a janky theme song) decides randomly to score my life I'm doomed to roam the earth without a soundtrack to make my life more majestic. But that doesn't stop me from picking some of my favorites and humming them to myself for extra inspiration.
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