So I was watching "Life as a House" the other night.  Man that's a bad movie.  It's cheesy in all the wrong ways.  Hayden Christensen (sp?) can't act to save his life.  It's melodramatic.  It's ridiculous.  It also makes a really amazing point.  
We are all so desperate to maintain the life that we think we're supposed to.  We all do this in different ways.  Some life out of a sense of obligation and pursue responsibility at the expense of happiness.  Some try forever to maintain the identity they feel will give them meaning.  Some try to overcome a sense of obligation that they have to achieve.  Some try to please everybody.  
I definitely fall into that last category and I'm realizing how miserable that can truly be.  I really freaking care way too much about what other people think.  I hold back when I should be honest in the name of protecting feelings.  I'm often only half honest in the name of protecting community.  I try to act the way that I think everybody wants me to act when I walk into a room.  
The thing that the movie really hit me with is that acting honestly and genuinely pisses off a lot of people.  It really does.  But it also really means a lot to a select group of people and those are the people that you want around in the end.  I mean, who needs 5000 friends.  Forget you facebook you're messing up my perspective on everything.
I have no illusions that I'm instantly going to start being completely honest with people.  This is totally one of those processes that will probably take a very, very long time.  But I'm going to get there.  So help me I'll get there.
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