Monday, August 2, 2010

Wrap up

I'm sitting in the business center of my hotel killing time before my ridiculously early flight tomorrow (540 am... yeesh). This has truly been an incredible trip. I had this sense ever since I first purchased a ticket that this was going to be one of those trips, those trips that God does big things on. But I had this idea that it was going to be stuff that I needed to do or not do. Things that I needed to cut out or things that I needed to pursue. I felt like this was one big launching trip. Some sort of spiritual vocational training session. Man oh man was that off.

I'm still mulling over how much time God spent working on me just getting rid of all the obligation crap I've been struggling with for so long (Cindy, sorry I just said crap, feel free to edit if you read this out loud to Isaac or Nathan, but I doubt that will happen). I've spent the better part of my life in this sort of plus or minus system that I created. And then I worshiped... or maybe feared is the better word, the God of my gut. I let guilt define my actions and I felt guilty about most things. I still wonder if all this is going to stick; this crazy and bizarre notion that I'm literally under no condemnation and that God's love literally has nothing to do with what I've done.

That's so cool and still so hard to wrap my brain around, I can't really believe it.

Anyway, that's what I've got. It's been an amazing trip. Thanks to Sean, Brang, Adam, Cindy, Jeff, and Aw for being amazing hosts. I'm not sure if you'll ever appreciate how important this trip really was to me.

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