1) "Verb" Silage
2) "This Woman's Work" Maxwell
3) "When You Were Young" The Killers
Oh man, oh man, oh man. I remember how much I loved this song when it came out. I felt like this album was going to be amazing and soaring and epic and take the Killers in a really cool new direction! This is such an interesting song for them, because it really is the Killers doing Coldplay. Meaning: soaring chorus with lyrics that mean next to nothing. I mean the song starts out singing about a girl desperate for a relationship and then next thing you know they're "Burning down the highway skyline on the back of a hurricane" Wowzers, that's quite the first date!
This song though, reminds me of how deceiving appearances can be, in people and music. You take this amazingly singable, fun single (that is still a blast to play on Rock Band by the way) and then you follow it up with a bunch of songs that are ridiculously self-important and trying so hard to be Bruce Springstein they can hardly stand it. I mean, at least with Coldplay you get some singable choruses. The rest of Sam's Town (the album that WYWY came off of) is a mess plain and simple. And I remember being so disappointed by that. I defended it. I tried to tell my friends that it was a testament to Americana, that there was hidden meaning, that the Killers were brave for making it. Reality: it was crap. And over time, over weeks and months, I began to listen to it less and less. Know the album is filed away in my collection doomed to collect dust with the Eve6 songs I have and the Third Eye Blind tracks. Bands that made one good song that makes you nostalgic every time you hear it and then make a bunch of forgettable junk.
It's one of the reasons why I have a tendency to not buy singles any more before I hear the whole album. That first impression may pack a punch, but it's the total package that truly makes a difference in the long run.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
3S1P: Day Three
1. "The Kill" 30 Seconds to Mars
2. "Think About It" Flight of the Conchords
3. "Love is a Battlefield" Pat Benatar
Wow... really? I'm really going to blog on Pat Benatar this morning? This is going to be an exercise. I have to be honest. There's a part of me that misses the unbridled optimism of the 80s. Of course that was also a time period where we were ridiculously self-centered, materialistic, and probably running ourselves into the ground, but DANG ... we were happy! This may actually be my favorite 80s song because it's the kind of fist pumping pop track that is on one hand really inspiring "we are young... no one can tell us we're wrong!" and at the same time mindful of the fact that it has no idea what it's talking about "heartache to heartache we stand ... no promises no demands." Honestly, there's probably something to be learned there.
I went through a phase in college, like most of us, where I was very confident of the fact that I knew everything... I may actually still be in that phase. But the funny thing about thinking you know everything is your behavior usually displays the exact opposite. You end up making a lot of stupid decisions/ending up in lame relationships to spite yourself. I still remember driving 4 hours to hang out with a girl who would hang out with me but whenever I asked her if she wanted to date would say "not right now." To a sane man, that would be a HUGE signal that this was not the right tree to be barking up. But to me, because I knew better, I kept driving that stinking four hour highway to rejection. In that moment... only Pat Benatar knew what I was feeling. We'll call them the Benatar days... wait, that sounds kinda lame/femme/sketch... we'll call them the 80s days.
That all being said, I'm glad I'm a little less in that phase than I used to be.
2. "Think About It" Flight of the Conchords
3. "Love is a Battlefield" Pat Benatar
Wow... really? I'm really going to blog on Pat Benatar this morning? This is going to be an exercise. I have to be honest. There's a part of me that misses the unbridled optimism of the 80s. Of course that was also a time period where we were ridiculously self-centered, materialistic, and probably running ourselves into the ground, but DANG ... we were happy! This may actually be my favorite 80s song because it's the kind of fist pumping pop track that is on one hand really inspiring "we are young... no one can tell us we're wrong!" and at the same time mindful of the fact that it has no idea what it's talking about "heartache to heartache we stand ... no promises no demands." Honestly, there's probably something to be learned there.
I went through a phase in college, like most of us, where I was very confident of the fact that I knew everything... I may actually still be in that phase. But the funny thing about thinking you know everything is your behavior usually displays the exact opposite. You end up making a lot of stupid decisions/ending up in lame relationships to spite yourself. I still remember driving 4 hours to hang out with a girl who would hang out with me but whenever I asked her if she wanted to date would say "not right now." To a sane man, that would be a HUGE signal that this was not the right tree to be barking up. But to me, because I knew better, I kept driving that stinking four hour highway to rejection. In that moment... only Pat Benatar knew what I was feeling. We'll call them the Benatar days... wait, that sounds kinda lame/femme/sketch... we'll call them the 80s days.
That all being said, I'm glad I'm a little less in that phase than I used to be.
Monday, June 8, 2009
3S1P: Day Two
Songs for the morning:
1) "Be My Husband" Lisa Hannigan and Damien Rice
2) "Let it Rock" Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
3) "Good" Better than Ezra
Wow this song is way more depressing than I remember. But Good kind of fits perfectly into that mid 90's alt-rock sort of set up. You take a hook that sounds uplifting "It's been good living with you" and then mire it in lyrics that are hard to decipher and end up being ridiculously depressing (the song's about coming home to find the person you live with has left you). Classic example of this is Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. There were hordes of kids in high school who would walk around singing the "doo doo doo" chorus like idiots having no idea that the song was about being addicted to meth.
This also kind of describes my high school experience. The exterior is glossy, but watch out once you get below the surface. I remember, in the midst of being really depressed, treating music as a form of escape at that point in my life, a way to express the things that I desired but hadn't attained. I think in that sense it was sort of like the earliest form of honest prayer for me. I'd talk about the stuff that I really wanted, but didn't really have any sense of how to actually do anything about those feelings/emotions. I remember singing "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters as a scrawny, awkward high schooler, and singing it with some force, but not having any idea of what it felt like to be in a relationship. Same for pretty much everything that the Wallflowers put out in that era. There was a sense of living a virtual life through the songs. Through them I lived out heartache, love, and anger vicariously. That was so cathartic and so ... well ... dangerous.
For a good four to five years after that point I remember feeling like I had to create moments of emotional resonance, like the scenes in movies where the music swells and the awkward but likeable protagonist really goes for it (you know what I'm talking about "Can't Hardly Wait"). But the crazy thing about that is that the best moments, most real, most emotional are not the ones that we manufacture but the ones that reveal themselves honestly. So, in searching constantly for that emotional high, I often missed out on the little things that God had blessed me with that were so much more genuine, so much more amazing. Classic example of this is a night that I was hanging out in Williamsburg with my Dad. It was freezing and he let me borrow his sheeps wool lined gloves. I had a pretty gnarly cut on my hands because, at the time, I was struggling with some low grade OCD and had taken to washing my hands every time I touched anything. The result was that I, basically, washed the skin off my hands until they would bleed infrequently. Anyway, my dad passes me his gloves and I realized that halfway through wearing them that I was bleeding on the gloves. I looked up at my dad and said "I'm really sorry but I think I ruined your gloves." He looked at them, and the blood, and just said "do you honestly think that I care more about gloves than you?" No big speeches, no one burst into song... well, someone might have, but it was Christmas and I think there were carolers in Williamsburg, but that's unrelated ... but that was something that I'll remember for the rest of my life.
That's the funny thing about Good and so many songs like it. For all their attempts to create an emotion that the listener can relate to, they're completely unrealistic. Who would go home to find that everything was missing from their house and that they're significant other had left and then would break into a catchy chorus of "well... it was good living with you" A CRAZY PERSON THAT'S WHO!!! Unfortunately for a good portion of my life I would try to create those same emotionally soaring moments because I thought that's the way that things were supposed to be. But to be honest, for all of my trying the thing that I realized that I was most missing out on was the little junk that is so insanely awesome.
1) "Be My Husband" Lisa Hannigan and Damien Rice
2) "Let it Rock" Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne
3) "Good" Better than Ezra
Wow this song is way more depressing than I remember. But Good kind of fits perfectly into that mid 90's alt-rock sort of set up. You take a hook that sounds uplifting "It's been good living with you" and then mire it in lyrics that are hard to decipher and end up being ridiculously depressing (the song's about coming home to find the person you live with has left you). Classic example of this is Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. There were hordes of kids in high school who would walk around singing the "doo doo doo" chorus like idiots having no idea that the song was about being addicted to meth.
This also kind of describes my high school experience. The exterior is glossy, but watch out once you get below the surface. I remember, in the midst of being really depressed, treating music as a form of escape at that point in my life, a way to express the things that I desired but hadn't attained. I think in that sense it was sort of like the earliest form of honest prayer for me. I'd talk about the stuff that I really wanted, but didn't really have any sense of how to actually do anything about those feelings/emotions. I remember singing "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters as a scrawny, awkward high schooler, and singing it with some force, but not having any idea of what it felt like to be in a relationship. Same for pretty much everything that the Wallflowers put out in that era. There was a sense of living a virtual life through the songs. Through them I lived out heartache, love, and anger vicariously. That was so cathartic and so ... well ... dangerous.
For a good four to five years after that point I remember feeling like I had to create moments of emotional resonance, like the scenes in movies where the music swells and the awkward but likeable protagonist really goes for it (you know what I'm talking about "Can't Hardly Wait"). But the crazy thing about that is that the best moments, most real, most emotional are not the ones that we manufacture but the ones that reveal themselves honestly. So, in searching constantly for that emotional high, I often missed out on the little things that God had blessed me with that were so much more genuine, so much more amazing. Classic example of this is a night that I was hanging out in Williamsburg with my Dad. It was freezing and he let me borrow his sheeps wool lined gloves. I had a pretty gnarly cut on my hands because, at the time, I was struggling with some low grade OCD and had taken to washing my hands every time I touched anything. The result was that I, basically, washed the skin off my hands until they would bleed infrequently. Anyway, my dad passes me his gloves and I realized that halfway through wearing them that I was bleeding on the gloves. I looked up at my dad and said "I'm really sorry but I think I ruined your gloves." He looked at them, and the blood, and just said "do you honestly think that I care more about gloves than you?" No big speeches, no one burst into song... well, someone might have, but it was Christmas and I think there were carolers in Williamsburg, but that's unrelated ... but that was something that I'll remember for the rest of my life.
That's the funny thing about Good and so many songs like it. For all their attempts to create an emotion that the listener can relate to, they're completely unrealistic. Who would go home to find that everything was missing from their house and that they're significant other had left and then would break into a catchy chorus of "well... it was good living with you" A CRAZY PERSON THAT'S WHO!!! Unfortunately for a good portion of my life I would try to create those same emotionally soaring moments because I thought that's the way that things were supposed to be. But to be honest, for all of my trying the thing that I realized that I was most missing out on was the little junk that is so insanely awesome.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
3rd Song 1st Person:
So here it is, for the next couple weeks (we'll see if I make it that far) I'm going to try something a little different in hopes of writing more consistently. Call it an experiment. I'm going to write a post every day in the theme "3rd Song 1st Person." Every day I'll write a post on the 3rd song that comes up on my iPod when I hit shuffle songs. There are a few stipulations: must be a song, must be the third song, can only start the shuffle once, no cheating. I'll list the songs that came in first and second. Feel free to check them out on IMEEM or Lala if you want to get a better feel for where I'm coming from. We'll see how it goes.
*Disclaimer* Today's song contains mature thematic material... it's a portrait of Lupe Fiasco's early upbringing and isn't sugar coated in any sense. Keep that in mind before you look up the lyrics.
Sunday June 7th, 2009
1) "In the Blood" by Better than Ezra
2) "Idioteque" by Radiohead
3) "Hurt Me Soul" by Lupe Fiasco
Dang, this shuffle took a left turn... sort of. Lupe may be the most emo rapper I know of, in a really good way. He's a master of recognizing the dualities within his own personality. The mix of influences, tastes, etc. I can relate to that, especially lately. I was hanging out with Audrey and Benson this past week, talking to Audrey about identifying the false self/selves that I am pretty quick to put up. Meaning this, I'm pretty good at acting exactly the way that I think people will relate to the best/like the most. This is exacerbated by the fact that I'm kinda freakin intuitive so most of the time I'm right about the way they want me to act. The cool thing about these last couple weeks is I've been learning just to be myself and let all those random influences combine in the way that is most comfortable/closest to the way that God made me instead of trying to call upon the particular interests/personality traits that I think fit the best in whatever situation I'm in.
That's kind of why I love that this is my first 3rd song. Southern rock bleeds into art rock bleeds into a rapper that is "american mentally with japanese tendencies, parisian sensibilities" This is like a gumbo mix. In "Hurt Me Soul" Lupe is reflecting on all of the different influences that have come his way, the loss of his innocence, the infiltration of his spirituality with his love for hip-hop with a back drop of all the chaos and turmoil that is surrounding him in the world. It's a really heavy song over a really mellow beat. This is Lupe in a nutshell: Hooks that scream dancefloor, lyrics that take an unflinching look at the social ills that surround him. What I love about Lupe is that when he criticizes he does it from a position of humility. If there are no holds barred, he's coming after his own shortcomings as well. He looks at life in the inner city, the faults present in hip hop, the ills that plague America and the world and acknowledges the fact that it is killing him on the inside.
So... how does the song relate to the self-reflection? I lament the fact that I've tried to hide who I really am so many times. I regret that I haven't let God use the mess that is me more frequently for fear of what man thinks. I'm not in a place as heavy as Lupe is in this song, but I do regret the fact that I haven't been more genuine towards people. More genuine about who I really am and more genuine about what I really think.
I am a geek, a nerd, I love disney, technology, rap, horrible r&b, clothes, I'm far too materialistic, I sing in public, I would dance in public if I wasn't such a chicken :). I am not cool, I am far too emo, I'm sentimental to a fault, I'm to insecure for my own good, I'm also too cocky for my own good.
I think that most people I know are either too liberal or too conservative, I get tired of people taking out other people behind each others backs, I'm not forgiving enough, I think the church is in danger of losing sight of what it means to love the sinner but hate the sin because it's embarrassed by the ways in which the sin has taken the front seat in the past, I'm charismatic, I believe that God still actively engages in the world, I'm not really a Republican, not really a democrat, because I think that both will always fall ridiculously short of what we could do in this country if we were sold out for Jesus. I really get tired of people who talk about global politics who have never visited the countries that they have such strong opinions about, I think the Church needs to start tithing or we are in danger of becoming the Rich Man to the world's Abraham. And things don't end up well for the rich man. I don't think being rich makes you a Pharisee. I think that social justice can be an idol just as much as money can. I think that there is a right answer. I think I ignore it to often and it hurts my soul.
*Disclaimer* Today's song contains mature thematic material... it's a portrait of Lupe Fiasco's early upbringing and isn't sugar coated in any sense. Keep that in mind before you look up the lyrics.
Sunday June 7th, 2009
1) "In the Blood" by Better than Ezra
2) "Idioteque" by Radiohead
3) "Hurt Me Soul" by Lupe Fiasco
Dang, this shuffle took a left turn... sort of. Lupe may be the most emo rapper I know of, in a really good way. He's a master of recognizing the dualities within his own personality. The mix of influences, tastes, etc. I can relate to that, especially lately. I was hanging out with Audrey and Benson this past week, talking to Audrey about identifying the false self/selves that I am pretty quick to put up. Meaning this, I'm pretty good at acting exactly the way that I think people will relate to the best/like the most. This is exacerbated by the fact that I'm kinda freakin intuitive so most of the time I'm right about the way they want me to act. The cool thing about these last couple weeks is I've been learning just to be myself and let all those random influences combine in the way that is most comfortable/closest to the way that God made me instead of trying to call upon the particular interests/personality traits that I think fit the best in whatever situation I'm in.
That's kind of why I love that this is my first 3rd song. Southern rock bleeds into art rock bleeds into a rapper that is "american mentally with japanese tendencies, parisian sensibilities" This is like a gumbo mix. In "Hurt Me Soul" Lupe is reflecting on all of the different influences that have come his way, the loss of his innocence, the infiltration of his spirituality with his love for hip-hop with a back drop of all the chaos and turmoil that is surrounding him in the world. It's a really heavy song over a really mellow beat. This is Lupe in a nutshell: Hooks that scream dancefloor, lyrics that take an unflinching look at the social ills that surround him. What I love about Lupe is that when he criticizes he does it from a position of humility. If there are no holds barred, he's coming after his own shortcomings as well. He looks at life in the inner city, the faults present in hip hop, the ills that plague America and the world and acknowledges the fact that it is killing him on the inside.
So... how does the song relate to the self-reflection? I lament the fact that I've tried to hide who I really am so many times. I regret that I haven't let God use the mess that is me more frequently for fear of what man thinks. I'm not in a place as heavy as Lupe is in this song, but I do regret the fact that I haven't been more genuine towards people. More genuine about who I really am and more genuine about what I really think.
I am a geek, a nerd, I love disney, technology, rap, horrible r&b, clothes, I'm far too materialistic, I sing in public, I would dance in public if I wasn't such a chicken :). I am not cool, I am far too emo, I'm sentimental to a fault, I'm to insecure for my own good, I'm also too cocky for my own good.
I think that most people I know are either too liberal or too conservative, I get tired of people taking out other people behind each others backs, I'm not forgiving enough, I think the church is in danger of losing sight of what it means to love the sinner but hate the sin because it's embarrassed by the ways in which the sin has taken the front seat in the past, I'm charismatic, I believe that God still actively engages in the world, I'm not really a Republican, not really a democrat, because I think that both will always fall ridiculously short of what we could do in this country if we were sold out for Jesus. I really get tired of people who talk about global politics who have never visited the countries that they have such strong opinions about, I think the Church needs to start tithing or we are in danger of becoming the Rich Man to the world's Abraham. And things don't end up well for the rich man. I don't think being rich makes you a Pharisee. I think that social justice can be an idol just as much as money can. I think that there is a right answer. I think I ignore it to often and it hurts my soul.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Genuine
Saw one of my students give his testimony in what was one of the most genuine moments I've seen in quite some time. No apologies, no attempts to make things more interesting or exciting, just a very real explanation of where he was at with God. It made me realize that so often in the church we try to engage with where we believe people "should" be and speak from a position that reflects our "best" moments. We rarely bring the junk, the struggles, the frustrations to the table. I know this is not a new revelation, but one that I've been thinking about for the last couple of days. The frustrating aspect of this is that it never creates a deeper understanding of the inroads to a deeper walk with Christ.
To better explain where I'm going with this, because I'm rambling, I know, I'm going to use an analogy from music. Lets say you only ever had two examples of what it meant to be a guitar player, yourself and maybe, um, John Lennon. Now lets say that no one ever explained to you that Lennon took a while to get there, through practice, hard work, and dedication. You might become convinced that its pointless to even try playing guitar as you don't see a possible means of getting to that "Lennon Level." It would be obvious that Lennon is where you should be. What might not be obvious is that you could get there.
Now this is a poor example, for any number of reasons. Not least of which because it fails to take into consideration the fact that some people will never be able to play guitar as well as John Lennon. But, I do think that this illustrating does reveal an interesting trend in the church.
When we fail to bring our garbage to the table it creates the illusion that there are two types of Christians. Those who have it easy, who have it all together, who never mess up, and those who constantly struggle. From that place, those who are very aware of the fact that they struggle often do two things: either give up on the trying or just "fake it to make it" and put forward a front that looks good to their community. That's why it's so important that as a community we are real with where we are actually at. That we are honest when we struggle with different sin areas. That we create space for people to be real about where they are actually at.
I'm not saying we should relish in sin, that we should delight in the fact that we mess up, but I do think sharing a realistic, "warts and all" picture of the walk helps to illuminate the fact that all temptation is common, that our God is a God of redemption who works with even the greatest of sinners. I think it also constantly reminds us that we are all desperately in need of forgiveness because we all sin constantly. I think, in some ways, I'm furthest from God when I think that I'm doing a really good job of following him and I'm closest to God when I realize that I'm horrible at following Him and constantly need Him to transform me from the inside.
That's why I want to be more genuine...
To better explain where I'm going with this, because I'm rambling, I know, I'm going to use an analogy from music. Lets say you only ever had two examples of what it meant to be a guitar player, yourself and maybe, um, John Lennon. Now lets say that no one ever explained to you that Lennon took a while to get there, through practice, hard work, and dedication. You might become convinced that its pointless to even try playing guitar as you don't see a possible means of getting to that "Lennon Level." It would be obvious that Lennon is where you should be. What might not be obvious is that you could get there.
Now this is a poor example, for any number of reasons. Not least of which because it fails to take into consideration the fact that some people will never be able to play guitar as well as John Lennon. But, I do think that this illustrating does reveal an interesting trend in the church.
When we fail to bring our garbage to the table it creates the illusion that there are two types of Christians. Those who have it easy, who have it all together, who never mess up, and those who constantly struggle. From that place, those who are very aware of the fact that they struggle often do two things: either give up on the trying or just "fake it to make it" and put forward a front that looks good to their community. That's why it's so important that as a community we are real with where we are actually at. That we are honest when we struggle with different sin areas. That we create space for people to be real about where they are actually at.
I'm not saying we should relish in sin, that we should delight in the fact that we mess up, but I do think sharing a realistic, "warts and all" picture of the walk helps to illuminate the fact that all temptation is common, that our God is a God of redemption who works with even the greatest of sinners. I think it also constantly reminds us that we are all desperately in need of forgiveness because we all sin constantly. I think, in some ways, I'm furthest from God when I think that I'm doing a really good job of following him and I'm closest to God when I realize that I'm horrible at following Him and constantly need Him to transform me from the inside.
That's why I want to be more genuine...
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Vocation
There are no paragraph breaks in this post. Deal with it.
Antony asked me this weekend if I thought I'd found my vocation. "I'd say so." To which he responded, "but would you say that unprompted" Hesitated a little bit at that one. It's interesting but due to some combination of my very nomadic upbringing, my ENFP personality, and lingering insecurity I still have some serious issues with commitment. Referring to my job as my vocation still causes a bit of a shudder to run up my spine. The post-modernist in me just doesn't want to identify myself with one thing so specifically. That being said, if I was honest, I'd have to say that I have indeed found what I would consider to be my vocation. My hesitation to identify it as such has pretty much only kept me from giving 100% to what I was doing. Which is a little bit on the lame sauce side of things. My dad always used to say that "Excellence honors God" which I used to view as a fairly trite paring down of the gospel as I knew it. I'm coming to realize, though, that just because that's not the entirety of God's intent for our lives doesn't make it not true. I'm coming to value truth nuggets like that one. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, pursuing excellence in the things that God has placed in my path reveals a willingness on my part to trust in the fact that He doesn't have me in some sort of spiritual holding pattern. If He, in his sovereignty, has placed me where I'm at for a reason, maybe I should try to pursue His work for me in that place eagerly. Coming out of the Navy that's consistently been one of my largest struggles. When I was there I always thought of it as a go between, a gap filler in my life and never really sold out to the idea that I needed to look for where He was working around me in that area as much as I could. That never really happened until the very end. Now, in a place I love with a vocation I've grown to be really stoked about, it's time to get over it and dive in. Not so much with more time but with greater intentionality, prayer, and a willingness to surrender to the things that God has for me.
That's pretty stinking exciting.
Antony asked me this weekend if I thought I'd found my vocation. "I'd say so." To which he responded, "but would you say that unprompted" Hesitated a little bit at that one. It's interesting but due to some combination of my very nomadic upbringing, my ENFP personality, and lingering insecurity I still have some serious issues with commitment. Referring to my job as my vocation still causes a bit of a shudder to run up my spine. The post-modernist in me just doesn't want to identify myself with one thing so specifically. That being said, if I was honest, I'd have to say that I have indeed found what I would consider to be my vocation. My hesitation to identify it as such has pretty much only kept me from giving 100% to what I was doing. Which is a little bit on the lame sauce side of things. My dad always used to say that "Excellence honors God" which I used to view as a fairly trite paring down of the gospel as I knew it. I'm coming to realize, though, that just because that's not the entirety of God's intent for our lives doesn't make it not true. I'm coming to value truth nuggets like that one. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, pursuing excellence in the things that God has placed in my path reveals a willingness on my part to trust in the fact that He doesn't have me in some sort of spiritual holding pattern. If He, in his sovereignty, has placed me where I'm at for a reason, maybe I should try to pursue His work for me in that place eagerly. Coming out of the Navy that's consistently been one of my largest struggles. When I was there I always thought of it as a go between, a gap filler in my life and never really sold out to the idea that I needed to look for where He was working around me in that area as much as I could. That never really happened until the very end. Now, in a place I love with a vocation I've grown to be really stoked about, it's time to get over it and dive in. Not so much with more time but with greater intentionality, prayer, and a willingness to surrender to the things that God has for me.
That's pretty stinking exciting.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Uncomfortably Comfortable
It struck me as odd, this past week in D.C., the lengths we go to make our history "comfortable" to those who come to study/observe/revisit it. Over the course of three days we visited the Gettysburg Battlefield, Williamsburg, and Monticello and in all three of these places slavery was mentioned but never given the attention that the culture/commerce/innovation/politics were given. This strikes me as more frustrating because I don't think we make our leaders stronger or better by glossing over their weaknesses. We just make our heritage more convoluted. I don't think that saying Jefferson disliked slavery but didn't see a way around it as an acceptable response to the fact that he had hundreds of slaves, fathered at least 1 possibly 4 children into slavery who he did not free until they had reached the age of 21. I don't think presenting that situation as a "moral dilemma" should free him from close or condemning scrutiny. Jefferson had issues. I think we just need to deal with that. The man chose comfort over conscience. I think it also dilutes the impact of someone like Lincoln who, generations later, still seems to withstand close scrutiny. Exceptional leaders should be just that, exceptional. All this to say, I realized how often I choose comfort over conscience. Like one of the disciples who couldn't handle the fact that Jesus said "eat my flesh and drink my blood" often I "vamoose" when I am challenged to do things that leave me uncomfortable in this world.
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